“你长大想干啥”：成人之问可休矣

英文原文

Stop Asking Kids What They Want to Be When They Grow Up

不要再问孩子长大后想做什么了

By Adam Grant

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“你长大之后想做什么？”

When I was a kid, I dreaded the question. Adults always seemed terribly disappointed that I wasn’t dreaming of becoming something grand or heroic, like a filmmaker or an astronaut.

小时候，我很害怕这个问题。我没有梦想成为什么大人物或者英雄，像是电影制片人或是宇航员之类的，这似乎总是让大人们十分失望。

Now, as an organizational psychologist, my job is to fix other people’s jobs, and I’ve become convinced that asking youngsters what they want to be does them a disservice.

如今，作为一名组织心理学家，我的工作就是去解决其他人工作中遇到的问题，我已经十分确定，问年轻人想做什么对他们有害无益。

My first beef with the question is that it forces kids to define themselves in terms of work. When you’re asked what you want to be when you grow up, it’s not socially acceptable to say, “A father”, or, “A mother”, let alone, “A person of integrity”.

对这个问题，我首先不满的地方在于它迫使孩子们用工作来定义自己。当你被问到长大后想做什么，回答“一位父亲”或者“一位母亲”是不被社会接受的，更不用说回答做“一个正直诚实的人”了。

The second problem is the implication that there is one calling out there for everyone. Although having a calling can be a source of joy, research shows that searching for one leaves students feeling lost and confused.

第二个问题是，它暗示了每个人都有一个使命在前方召唤。尽管拥有使命可能会是快乐的源泉，但研究却显示追寻使命让学生们感到失落和迷惘。

The third hurdle: Careers rarely live up to your childhood dreams. In one study, looking for the ideal job left college seniors feeling more anxious, stressed, overwhelmed and depressed throughout the process — and less satisfied with the outcome.

第三个问题：人们的职业成就很少能符合童年时代的梦想。一项研究表明，执着于寻找理想的工作让大学高年级生在找工作的过程中感到更焦虑、更有压力、更挫败，也更沮丧，同时也对结果更不满意。

Asking kids what they want to be leads them to claim a career identity they might never want to earn. Instead, invite them to think about what kind of person they want to be — and about all the different things they might want to do.

问孩子们想做什么会促使他们声称自己有某种职业认同感，但是这种认同感，可能他们其实永远都不想得到。相反，（我们应该）让孩子们去思考他们想成为怎样的人——想想他们可能想做的各种不同的事。

【内容拓展】

▍作者简介：

Adam Grant 是美国一位组织心理学家organizational psychologist，现任美国宾夕法尼亚大学沃顿商学院教授，28岁被评为终身教授，也是沃顿商学院最年轻的终身教授。

生词好句

1.dread

英 [dred] 美 [dred]

vt. 害怕

拓展:

n. 恐惧（great fear or terror）；恐惧之事（the thing that is greatly feared）

She has a dread of hospitals. 她最怕上医院。

Poverty is many people’s constant dread. 人就怕穷。

vt. 恐惧（fear sth. greatly）

dread illness 怕生病

I’m dreading having to meet his parents.

要见他的父母，我特别紧张。

I dread that I may never see you again.

我害怕再也见不到你。

I dread to think what they say about me behind my back.

我就怕他们在背后说我坏话。

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.

自由即责任，难怪大多数人惧怕自由。

The fear of death is more to be dreaded than death itself.

怕死比死亡本身更可怕。

dreadful adj. 可怕的

Writing is a dreadful labour, yet not so dreadful as idleness.

写作累人，然而无所事事更累。

2.grand

英 [ɡrænd] 美 [ɡrænd]

adj. 宏伟的

拓展:

grand themes 宏大的主题

grand schemes 宏伟的计划

The Grand Canyon (美国)大峡谷

3.heroic

英 [hɪˈrəʊɪk] 美 [hɪˈroʊɪk]

adj. 勇敢的（very brave）

拓展:

a heroic act/deed 英勇的行为

4.organizational psychologist

组织心理学家

拓展:

industrial and organizational psychologist 工业与组织心理学家

组织心理学家的内容包括职业评估，开展员工训练，工作满意度评估，为别人出谋划策等。

5.disservice

英 [ˌdɪsˈsɜːvɪs] 美 [ˌdɪsˈsɜːrvɪs]

n. 损害，伤害

拓展:

Calling him a liar does him a great disservice.

叫他骗子，给他带来了巨大的伤害。

6.beef

英 [biːf] 美 [biːf]

n. 牛肉；（俚语）抱怨；争论（a complaint or an argument）

拓展:

beef up 加强

“抱怨”这个词义来源于1888年英文报纸登的一则消息：美国大兵抱怨国家给他们提供的牛肉，质次量少。

My main beef about the job is that I have to work on Saturdays.

我对这项工作最不满意的地方就是周六要上班。

I am having a beef with my boss.

我和老板有分歧。

7.let alone

更不必说

拓展:

He would never even read a newspaper, let alone a book.

他从来不看报，更别提看书了。

8.integrity

英 [ɪnˈteɡrəti] 美 [ɪnˈteɡrəti]

n. 诚实（being honest）；正直（having strong moral principles that you refuse to change）

拓展:

The integrity of man is to be measured by their conduct not by their professions.

君子之风不在乎他干什么，而在乎他干了什么。

9.calling

英 [ˈkɔːlɪŋ] 美 [ˈkɑːlɪŋ]

n. （深藏不露的）天赋；使命感

拓展:

To answer your calling 听从你内心的召唤

About 17 million urban middle-school graduates answered Mao's calling and flocked to the countryside.

大约1700万高中毕业生响应毛主席的号召，到农村去。

10.hurdle

英 [ˈhɜːdəl] 美 [ˈhɜːrdəl]

n. 障碍物

11.rarely

英 [ˈreəli] 美 [ˈrerli]

adv. 很少地（not often）

12.live up to

达到；实现（achieve what is expected）

拓展:

Her/His performance lived up to our expectations.

她/他没有辜负我们的殷切希望。

13.overwhelmed

英 [ˌəʊvəˈwelmd] 美 [ˌoʊvərˈwelmd]]

adj. 有挫败感的

14.claim

英 [kleɪm] 美 [kleɪm]

vt. 声称

15.earn

英 [ɜːn] 美 [ɜːn]

vt. 赢得

拓展:

standing ovation 长时间起立鼓掌